18 May 2010

if there is a God...

lately, i have found myself saying, "if there is a God,....then this will happen."

or, "if there is a God,....blah, blah, blah"

"if there is a God,....."

"if there is a God,....."

"if there is a God,....."

i know there is a God, so why is this phrase part of my vocabulary? i don't need to challenge God.

He's there, and whether or not He honors my request to prove that there "is a God" really doesn't matter.

what matters is that He's there...always there for me

i need to remember that

16 May 2010

God in spin class?

yesterday, as i was in spin class (waiting for it to begin), i was hit with a thought and began to wonder about the salvation of those who were also in the room taking the class with me. this was a new experience for me, and yet i'm glad that i was open to it then and there. and one would think that with it being spin class, maybe God wouldn't use them at that time/place...you know, so you could stay in the zone and get a good workout in. because isn't good health/fitness important?!? anyway, i was able to stay in the zone and get my workout in, but the thought still was on my heart and in my mind.

so what do you do with that?

and the easy, logical answer would be to pray about it and the let the Spirit lead.

and yes, i plan to do that. but i also will ponder why the Spirit came upon me then and there, and what's the greater purpose for this all?

i know i need to keep my eyes, ears, and even heart open to hear the call of God and see how He will use me in this case, to possibly further His kingdom. it sounds like an exciting adventure.

and it definitely affirms the fact that the Lord works in mysterious ways...

15 May 2010

zacchaeus, continued

okay, so i was thinking more about the story of zacchaeus and how he had to climb up a tree just to see the face of Jesus. for some reason, that really struck me. a grown man climbing a tree just to see the face of Jesus. can you imagine having the
conviction deep within yourself to do that?

what must that have looked like?...a grown man, even small in stature, climbing a tree. not only was he a tax collector and looked down upon for that, but now he's climbing a tree. no wonder the crowd shouted things about him and judged him. think about how people in today's society would react to an event like that.

yet, he's the one that Jesus wanted. Jesus purposefully set out to see zacchaeus and spend time with him.

and the truth is, Jesus wants us just as much as He wanted zacchaeus.

it's just up to us to seek His face.

so, are you going to look for Him?

14 May 2010


read luke 19:1-10

it's interesting to note the three different types of characters in this story. there's Jesus, zacchaeus, and the crowd of people, and the way the each act is entirely different from the other. and it makes me wonder which one i am in the story. do you ever do that, wonder which character you are in a biblical story?

as i'm reading and reflecting on the story and i realize that i'm not Jesus or zacchaeus. instead, i'm the crowd of people. yuck! that's not the role i wanted; yet, it's the role i most identify with.

i see myself as someone who is willing to judge others just to make myself look better. and that's exactly what the crowd did to zacchaeus. they saw him as a tax collector and nothing better. however, zacchaeus saw himself as something and someone more, someone who was able to make a change for the better.

and just like zacchaeus, we're able to see ourselves as something more and make a change for the better. it couldn't have been easy for zacchaeus to do this, and it's certainly not going to be easy for us.

but if zacchaeus can find it deep within himself to pay back all his debts, four times over....
can't i find it within myself to not judge?

and that's when i need to decide to make a chance and figure out who's voice is going to be the louder one in my head...

the voice of the crowd?

or the voice of God?

12 May 2010

the tax collector or the pharisee?

after reading luke 18:9-14, i feel myself battling between the two roles of the tax collector and the pharisee. i say this because i feel myself taking on both roles, depending on the audience. and in all actuality, neither title sounds appealing...tax collector?...pharisee?

you see, when i'm around others, i want to be seen as the tax collector. someone who is repentant, sorrowful, and in need of mercy; yet thankful for all that has been done. this is how i want to be seen outwardly, even though i may feel different on the inside. i know that sounds horrible, but it's true.

on the inside, i'm sometimes like the pharisee. i want God to acknowledge how i'm doing things right and others aren't. i want the glory for myself. i want God to put me up on the pedestal that He should be standing upon.

when i'm feeling like that, it's time for my inside to be humbled.

it's time for me to be transformed from the inside out.

09 May 2010

it's just you and me, God

yesterday, i had the opportunity to run a mini-marathon. yes, that's 13.1 miles and if you know me or have known me, that task may have been deemed nearly impossible.

the preparation and training for it took months, literally! i started my own training in november to prepare for this in may. i needed to succeed at this. not only for health reasons, but to prove to myself that it was possible.

race day came with much anticipation and nervousness. i was more nervous days before than on the actual day. i made a list of people to pray for on my hand, as a way to distract me during the run and connect with God all at the same time. it was a good distraction and reminder of people who are dealing with different things, some of whom couldn't do what i was doing because of medical conditions. it was a way to remind me to press on towards the goal.

around mile 11 or 12, extreme fatigue hit me.

i wanted to give up,

to sit down

right then and there.

but my friend, trainer, co-runner was there, and she was not going to let me quit! and that's exactly what i needed. without her, i wouldn't have crossed that finish line. so, i gathered myself up, as best as i could, and reached out to God.

now i was praying for myself.

God has repeatedly been asking me, "why don't you trust me?" i was bound and determined to show Him that i did, by allowing Him (and my friend) to get me through this race.

i called out to God, "it's just you and me, God."

and He heard me loud and clear. by His grace and mercy, i was able to finish the race strong, with my dear friend beside me, coaching me the whole way.

you see, God didn't give up on me.

He never has.

He's been there all along,
waiting for me to ask Him for help.

He's teaching me to trust Him and others. i'm thankful for the experience, as difficult as it may have seemed at the time.

05 May 2010


i see it....

in the face of a 50 year old woman, who had a stroke when she was in her 40's and is now paralyzed on the right side and is wheelchair bound.

in watching someone achieve something they may have deemed nearly impossible, and because they continually tried and didn't give up, they were successful.

in someone who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer and somehow, by God's grace, can give the glory back to God, in hopes that they can bring someone to the Lord through the whole experience.

in daily experiences
and when i'm open to it, i allow it to guide my day.

where do you find your inspiration?

03 May 2010

matthew 6:8

..."for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him." matthew 6:8

right now, it's so difficult to wrap my head around this passage, to understand it's depth and meaning, wondering how that's even possible.

how can someone know what is always needed, before it is requested?

it makes me think of how a mom takes care of her newborn baby. she can't always know what the baby needs before the baby begins to cry out. most of the time when trying to accommodate it's trial and error, possibly never finding the perfect balance to sooth or ease the needs of the baby. and the mother will continue to press on, trying to learn the nonverbal cues of the baby.

i guess that's where God is different. He just knows. He shows us His power, His perfection, by knowing us from inside and out.


...and i need to remember that...

01 May 2010

on fire for God?

have you ever felt on fire for God? i'm not talking when you're in church and you can feel the Spirit within you or after you've participated in a great bible study.

i'm talking about the common moments of the day,
when you're washing dishes or driving across town...
then, all of a sudden you just get this overwhelming feeling deep within yourself.

and it's not because all is right in the world and your life is perfect.

it happens just because you allow it to.

you let the Spirit come into you and fill you up.

and once you acknowledge it, it slowly slips away...because you're starting to take control, instead of letting Him take control.

and even when this happens,
and the feeling does begin to fade some,
you still can remember that moment when you were on fire for God.