28 February 2010


some people think that silence is golden. others cherish it and want more of it. some even find it scary.

the other night i tried something new, i drove home in silence. and it was difficult, scary, and unsettling.

at first, i tried to fill the silence with dialog in my head; running thru prior conversations from the day. i realized what i was doing and then tried to shut it off. i was doing anything and everything to fill the silence. i reminded myself that this was supposed to be a silent activity, one that wasn't to be filled with noise or outside distractions.

once i began to allow myself to go there, i could feel God's presence. i could feel God there with me in my car; yet can't put it into words how i knew He was there. when i sensed His presence; it reached my soul. and then it scared me because it was just too quiet. i knew God was there, ready to talk to me and







quickly, i began to fill that silence with any distraction. i was blocking out God.

now reflecting back, i feel like i lost something from that night. i lost time that can't be gotten back, but more importantly, i lost out on what God wanted to tell me.

so, now it's time to try again.

to silence my heart,

to silence my mind,

and listen (not just hear) what God wants to tell me.

24 February 2010


what does it feel like to look at someone without judgement?...to not let our eyes be clouded with what the secular world values, but to look at others with compassion, openness, seeing the beauty in all.

unfortunately, i don't feel successful in doing this. i'm too quick to judge others based on their appearance. i'm too quick to see others as i want to see them and not as God wants me to see them.

and isn't there something lost when i...or we... do this?

do we miss out on opportunities and experiences because we're too focused on secular values?

do we miss out on people who could positively influence our lives, but we don't let them in because of our clouded judgement?

what would it look like for us to set that all aside then? to be able to look at people and experiences with open eyes and open hearts as God does, allowing Him to reveal the beauty He sees in all of us. think of all there is to gain! and by doing this, we can see His work, His majesty, His glory.

because when Jesus reigns in our hearts, it's shown in our lives.

17 February 2010

tattoos on ash wednesday

today while in the restroom, a little boy who had to be about 3 years old came up to me and asked if i had a tattoo on my forehead. i loved his innocence and curiosity, all rolled into one. i quickly thought of how to respond. this was my chance to tell someone about Jesus. even though i had imagined i would usually be witnessing to someone older, i still needed to let God use me in this instance.

i told the little boy it was a sign to represent Jesus. then his mom chimed in explaining that today was ash wednesday and people put a mark on their foreheads to remind them about Jesus. it was a sweet conversation and i'm so glad i was there where God needed me.

now, i sit at home still thinking about this. i think about how blessed i am to openly wear a sign of Christ, reminding me and those i come in contact with of His great sacrifice for us all. i also wonder how i can use that sign that i will wear just for today, throughout my lenten journey.

can i take that simple conversation and allow it to lead me closer to God?

will i allow God to use me in ways like that again?

my response is that i hope so...that my eyes, ears, and even heart will be open to simplistic things-
just like what happened today.

...from dust you came, to dust you shall return (genesis 3:19)...

12 February 2010

follow the leader

remember the game we used to play as a child? the only good part about it was being the leader. it wasn't as fun being the follower, unless there was the hope of one day leading the pack. as an adult, i feel like i can still play that game...except i still want to be the leader, when the greater One is there to lead.

it's easy with life situations to do this. take the lead over from God and then when things are tough or even going smoothly, i can give the lead back to God for awhile. and this game continues on into adulthood.

you see, i can take the lead because God won't fight me for it. He won't push me out of the way. He just graciously steps aside, knowing that i will fail, but loving me through it anyway.

so now it's my turn to give up the lead. if i say God is my leader, i need to commit to it and follow through with my words.

i know i will just be in the pack with everyone else,

but that's where i should be.

11 February 2010

the know it all

okay, i'm not talking about myself when i title this "the know it all" because i am far from that. i like to think i do know it all, but am constantly reminded that i don't. and for that, i am grateful. however, i'm sure that we all know someone who tends to take on that role, as annoying as it might be.

take for instance peter in luke 5:1-11. peter is trying to tell Jesus that he can't catch fish because they already tried to do so all night long, to no avail. did you catch that? peter is trying to tell Jesus something. i love this because it makes me smile as i am reminded of how much i am like peter. i think i have the answers, instead of being open to Jesus' teaching.

peter then decides to let the nets down to try and catch fish, as Jesus requested. and as peter does this, i wonder what the thoughts are that are running through his head. peter knows that it's impossible to catch fish right now, but because of Jesus it becomes possible.

it's the impossible becoming possible.

and all done because peter let Jesus in. he became open to Jesus, humbled himself, and was taught.

and i wonder if i'm open like that.
i think i am, but in reality am i really?

are you open to experience God like that?

07 February 2010

words of wisdom

today my friend reminded me that "perfection is found in the atoning grace of God, not in societal thinking."

why is it then do we get so caught up in what society values and thinks? i know it's because we tend to crave acceptance and validation of others, instead of worrying about getting those things from God. all of this makes me realize that i need to be reprogrammed to think differently.

when Jesus was out ministering, we know that He was with the tax collectors, the prostitutes, the ill/diseased. i am reminded of how others viewed Him for doing that. then i think of how Jesus saw perfection in those people. which made me wonder, do i do the same?

do i see perfection in all people, or do i only see perfection in the ones that society values?

am i so quick to judge others, instead of viewing them as God does?

and i know i don't see perfection in all people. i know i worry about how others will view me for accepting someone or something. and sometimes that worry even taints my point of view. i'm too caught up in gaining approval from others, instead of gaining approval from God.

which makes me realize that today, i need the Spirit to mold me and my heart to help me to do this. i need God to work in my life, to remind me of what His perfection is and where i can see it. and my prayer is that the grace of God can open all of our eyes to His perfection and beauty that He sees in each and everyone of us.

after all, we were created in His image (genesis 1:27), should we see others as anything less?