18 April 2010


the other night i was laying in bed and heard God ask me, "beth, why don't you trust me?" ouch! God is calling me out on my behavior. in a way, it hurts to know that's He's acknowledging my failure, my inability to follow Him. and since then, i have been trying to come up with an answer/response/retort, but to no avail. it's been weighing heavily on my heart. God has clearly called me out on something, and i don't have a suitable answer for Him.

i see it as being similar to adam and eve being in the garden of eden and God asking adam where He is. read genesis 3. God knows the answers to the questions He is asking, yet He asks them anyway...just to make adam aware.

...i guess He's doing the same to me....

15 April 2010

all you need is....

okay, so maybe the beatles had it right, "all you need is love". because without love, what are we? and what does it mean to love?

"...and if i have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, i am nothing." 2 corinthians 13:2

"love is patient and kind..." 2 corinthians 13:4

"love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things." 2 corinthians 13:7

"so now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 2 corinthians 13:13

amazingly, God is able to be all of these things, encompassing all these qualities, just for us. i can see it at different times in the world and even within the people i meet and encounter on a day to day basis. i can even exhibit these qualities to others, but not to myself. i'm sure you can understand that it's easier to apply it to others. because when we apply it to ourselves, it forces us to be honest with ourselves, and to deeply apply it to my own life, take it into my heart and let it be there, is something different.

i know that i should feel the love that God gives,
to embrace it,
to let it flow through me,
cover me,
heal me,
let it take care of my brokenness,
and love me for who i am and where i am at right now.

...but i struggle with that...

the unconditional love that God supplies is hard to swallow because i see myself as undeserving and not worthy. and as i type that, i hear God saying...

"no beth, that's not right because....
you are worthy,
you are deserving,
and i love you."

13 April 2010

more on mary magdalene

i have thought of a couple more reasons why i appreciate the story of mary magdalene in the bible. it's more to show me how real she was, in the sense that she was just like you and i.

-she reminds me of how similar we are as she battled satan/demons. luke 8:1-3

-she was at the cross as Christ was crucified. matthew 27:56

-she was then at the tomb of Jesus on Easter morning. matthew 27:57-61

so after thinking about mary magdalene's life and looking at her example, do our sins determine who we are or can a new word define each of us?

12 April 2010

matthew 15:16

recently, i was listening to a podcast and matthew 15:16 was jokingly referenced. i looked it up (esv version) and it reads: "and he (Jesus) said, 'are you also still without understanding?'" you see, Jesus is talking to His disciples about how we all defile and hurt one another. i love how he calls them out and basically says to them, "what don't you understand?!? what am I not saying clear enough for you?!? how can you not get it?!?". i wonder what Jesus' tone of voice must have been like and how His face must have looked at this point in time in this conversation. think about how irritated must He have felt, as they were not grasping the lesson He was sharing with them.

and then i begin to think of myself and wonder what i'm not getting.

how often must God be saying to me, "beth, are you also still without understanding?"

even one better is in the nlt translation, which states, "'don’t you understand yet?' Jesus asked." (notice that they had to include the 'yet' in the translation.)

and no, i don't think i understand 'yet'. because when i think i get things figured out in my life, i fall back into not understanding what's going on. i fall into the same patterns of behavior, repeat lessons, and don't learn anything new. so no, i don't understand yet.

and if Jesus had to ask His closest friends this, imagine what He wants to ask you and i.

10 April 2010

wait, you don't like me?

is there anyone else out there like me, stuck in wanting to be liked by all? i say 'stuck' as if it's a temporary thing. but you know, you seek to be liked. and maybe it's not something you'd readily admit. it might not be an outward showing as you want to remain tough and strong, but deep down inside it's something you desire. it's wanting that validation from those close to you, to a stranger in a store.

we just want to be liked by everyone.

that doesn't sound unrealistic, does it?

i was really thinking about this today. and as i was driving, this concept was put into perspective for me. call it a divine intervention, if you want. i came to realize that not everyone likes God, so how can i expect everyone to like me.

did you catch that....not everyone likes God, so how can i expect everyone to like me?

in fact, there's times when i know i don't like God and i don't like myself, so why hold others to that same level? and really, does it matter in the big picture if other's don't like me? no, it really doesn't.

and when i think of things that way, it's a little easier to swallow, a little easier to digest.

i have to realize that no, people aren't going to always like me. God and i will just have to live with that.

for some reason, knowing that i'm not alone and that He's with me in this makes a difference.

09 April 2010

calling the sinners

matthew 9:13 reads, "but go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' for I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

my friend recently texted this verse to me and asked me what it meant to me. when i began thinking about it, i began focusing on the end of the verse..."for i have not come to call the righteous, but sinners". i love how Christ recognizes that. He clearly states that He wants the sinners, calling us by name. He's not interested in those who have it all together, the ones who act like they are free from any wrong doing.

Christ wants the sinners.

He wants those who don't have it all together, those who are a mess. the ones who have made countless bad choices, yet still try. people who know that they are sinful human beings. He calls the ones who fail on a daily basis. Christ wants the ones who are in need of grace and mercy, that only He can provide.

He calls you and i to Him.

He just wants to be with those who need Him.

08 April 2010

open to new things or stuck in the old?

how often do we carry our cross, sometimes longer than necessary? i know that might make a few of your cringe or want to argue with me, but it's true. i'm just as guilty of it as anyone else. sometimes we carry our cross because it becomes comfortable and it's easier to carry it than to face the uncertain in changing ourselves.

"...forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, i press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." philippians 3:13b-14

so let's press on and let go.

when it's time to let go of our crosses, let's be brave enough to do that. and i write the for myself and for you. because when it comes down to it, the goal and reward is so much better than anything we will endure here on earth.

07 April 2010

mary magdalene

i have recently been thinking about mary magdalene and what her life would have been like, to live at the time of Jesus. i know she gets a horrible rap for the choices she made and the way she chose to live her life. and you might be thinking, "beth, she's one of the most noted woman sinners of Jesus' time. why are you thinking about her? what could she possibly teach you?"

you see, she's a sinner just like you and i. the difference is that her life and sinful nature is written about in the bible for all to read, and thankfully mine is not.

and amid all her sin and troubles, she was a devout follower of Christ. i guess that's what i see when i look at her example in the bible. i see how she continually followed Jesus, even in her hard times.

i think that's a good lesson for us all. when the world is looking at us and judging our sins, we should find hope our in Lord.

04 April 2010


today is Easter sunday. it's not a surprise to me and may not be a surprise to you either. but i think of all those who don't know what this day really, truly stands for. i think of those who are caught up in the cadbury eggs and jelly beans. those who look to the easter bunny for colored eggs and fun toys symbolizing spring is here.

i look at how big the world is and wonder how can this be.

i see posts on facebook today declaring that 'He is risen!' and this will be seen by believers and nonbelievers. a few might respond by saying 'He is risen, indeed!' some will go about their day without really acknowledging it. others may will see it, know it's something, but not ask what it's really about.

and that makes me sad.

because i know that the tomb was empty.

and i want others to know that too.

02 April 2010


a friend recently shared the following story with me...

...during my run, a man in a beat up van was driving slowly through the neighborhood. i was slightly scared at first, but kept running towards him. i saw that he got out of the van, walked to the garbage can, and took out a rug that had been thrown in the trash. he then proceeded to next can to find more 'treasure'...

and as i reflect on this story, i wonder if i would intently look for my 'treasure' that way. would i want to dig through other people's garbage to find that one special thing? and then i wonder if i can look at others in that same way, past their flaws and see them as a treasure.

you see, God does that.

He's looking for us, amid all the garbage and turmoil that we may have weighing us down. He doesn't care how much toxic waste, trash, or bad choices are in our lives or in the way. He will dig through all of that just to claim us. He is able to see through all that down to the core of who we really are...

because we are His treasure

01 April 2010

something to ponder

what does it mean to believe in Jesus?