i have come to realize that right now, i'm definitely not as dialed into God as i'd like to be or even claim to be. it's easy to say that i am, but in reality i'm just not taking the time to do it.
i'm not exactly sure. i know some of it is time management. i'm sure another factor is that i don't want to knowledge what God wants/needs to tell me right now.
do you know what i mean?
it's that time in my life when i'm coasting along at a rather comfortable pace, without many bumps in the road. so i'm thinking, i can handle this on my own. i'm doing okay. i'll call out to God when trouble arises, but until then i'm doing well. no need to bother God when there's bigger problems in the world.
when in fact, now is when i need God.
i need to allow Him to search my heart and tell me what i need to hear.
i need to let Him in, instead of blocking Him out.
i need to take the time for Him because He daily makes time for me.
"search me, o God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
see if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way of everlasting."