precursor

today i heard the quote that "pain is the precursor to change" and i've been thinking about it thought the day.
it occurred to me that when you workout, pain can be involved and generally it is a precursor to a change in your body.
simple enough.
easy to understand.

but what about spiritual pain?

or what about emotional pain?

is pain like that still a precursor to change?

i think if it were easy to change, more people would regularly do it. heck, i would change more often. yet, it's the pain that hold people back...it holds me back.

i know sometimes i have to realize that i'm worth the fight and need to fight through the pain because the change is generally better than what's being experienced right now.

so, what painful precursor are you experiencing right now?
what change is coming in your life?

courage

sometimes i think that i don't have enough courage within myself,

to do something that i should,

to stand up for the right thing.

and why the doubt?
because it's easy and comfortable.

yet, when i tap into it,

it's an empowering thing.

it shows me what i'm capable of,

what i have been entrusted to do,

i need to be more courageous more often,
to break free from the expected.

a convo with God

the other night i had a conversation with God.

as i began talking with God, i called out to Him.
He readily responded with, "yes, beth."
it was as if He was waiting for me.
is that possible?

and as i tried to explain myself to God,

He replied with, "yes, beth, i know."

there was no guilt or shame in His voice.

just complete understanding and grace.

and as quickly as the conversation started,
it was over.
i tried to hold onto the moment,
the time together,
the conversation.

and now a few days later,
i can only remember certain parts.
the part that gives me peace is that He was there,
right when i needed it.

He heard my call
and answered it.

a compliment

the other day, one of my middle schoolers said to me,

"when you smile and my head is down, i can hear how happy you are in your voice."

it was the sweetest,
most genuine
statement.

it felt like a hallmark card was just given to me,
wrapped up in the voice of a preteen.

i don't know if she'll ever know the impact she made on me.

and i think it's amazing how a simple compliment
cannot only influence your day,
but even the days to come.

weeds

weeds could seriously be my demise. they seem to grow exponentially in a matter of hours. and why?

to irritate me?

to make me work in the soil and get dirt under my fingernails?

to allow me to wear stylish gardening gloves?

as i'm outside this afternoon, spending time tilling the soil and pulling weeds i started to think about God.

it was quiet,
calm,
and peaceful.

and i started to watch my hands as they were pulling out the weeds.
the small ground cover.
the tall ones disguising themselves as grass or flowers.
ones with strong roots.
ones with weak roots.

then i began to wonder if this is how God feels about clearing out my life.

He pulls away the small ground cover of sin.

He takes away the tall sins disguising themselves.

He tugs on the sins with strong roots, grabbing what He can
..and sometimes there are roots left behind
because i just can't let them all go.

He pushes aside the sins with weak roots.

and i thought about how God has to come back into my life,
time after time,
to clear away my weeds.
some weeds unfortunately never get totally cleared away,
while others are gone, never grow again in my life.

and it's not because God added some magical weed killer to it.

it's because when i give it to God, He takes care of it.

and when i hold onto those roots,
God will come back with His gardening gloves on and try again,
taking with Him what He can.

because just like my garden area, i'm a work in progress

fear

what do you do with fear?

for me, there's not an easy answer.

because if you're the one dealing with it, you know how it feels to be a prisoner of that fear.

it holds you in chains.
binds you.
controls the way you function and relate to others.
affects the decisions that you make.

and it just there...

fear

and so what do you do?

you can let the fear control you. the cycle remains and just keeps repeating itself because there's nothing different to break the pattern. and the fear is content, uninterrupted, and comfortable.

but you're still stuck with this fear...

...or you can realize that it's time to do something about it.

as difficult as it is to make a slight change.

to take a chance.

to possibly risk it all.

and you pray
you pray for courage.

the courage to give your fear over to God.
the courage to set fear aside and step out of your comfort zone.
courage to know that you don't have to live in bondage; to know that there is a plan and purpose for you and your life.

and you can be free.