walls

yesterday, i was listening to the radio and 'healing begins' by tenth avenue north came on. if you haven't heard this song before, listen to it. the message behind it is clear. and this got me thinking....

i have been a master builder of walls.

truly, i should be in the construction business because i consider myself an expert at building them. let me just tell you that i can lay bricks and mortar like none other! i mean, there are no gaps in my construction of walls, no cracks, no little spots where you can peak through. the big bad wolf would even have a hard time huffing and puffing trying to blow my walls down.

but what good are walls?

beauty

have you ever met someone who has the ability to project beauty from the inside out and not even realize it? now i'm not talking that they wear designer clothes or even were/are part of the cool kids. what i'm talking about is that they know God so deeply and have a certain understanding about Him...so much so that i can't at times wrap my head around it. they love themselves so much, not in a conceded way; yet it allows them to be loved by God and others. and they are able radiate this beauty that God has planted deep within them to everyone that they meet.

i know someone like that.

she lets beauty shine.

seasons

i know the holidays can be a time of reflection, a mile marker in your life; as it's easier to be reflective on holidays as opposed to let's say the third wednesday of every month. periods of reflection are good as life seems to have seasons associated with it, joyful seasons, sorrowful seasons, seasons of change, seasons of hardships, days when everything is going right, days when nothing can seem to go right. doesn't this begin to remind you of ecclesiastes 3:1-8.....?

so over the past few days, i've spent a little time each day thinking about this past year. and to be honest, i feel like i have been in a storm for the past year, not one marked by some great tragedy. truly, it was many different life situations, that when they were all added up it felt like a hurricane was repeatedly beating me down. and as i was in the eye of the storm, it felt like those were the days that were difficult to endure. the overwhelming pressure of it all, not knowing which way to turn or who to seek advice from. it was during some of those days that i would heavily lean upon God and feel as close to Him as possible, while during other days i would try and manage on my own. as david cried out in the book of psalm, i would too wonder when this would be over. when would this storm pass? and for some reason, i knew it would take about a year. call it a gut reaction or a God thing. either way, i just knew.

so it's been about a year and now the storm is beginning to blow away.

and some might ask, how do you know it's over? let me be clear, the storm isn't over because the year is officially up and God was there watching a calendar. and it's definitely not over because i did something right to earn God's favor. when it really comes down to it, i can't specifically say how i know. it's just this feeling i have in my heart and even in the pit of my stomach signaling to me that everything is going to be alright. call it faith, call it trust, call it whatever you'd like.

what i do know is this...i know that i have a new peace about me that wasn't there two or three weeks ago. it is this gradual feeling of peace that has begun to wash over me and i'm allowing it to. i'm choosing to feel this peace and tranquility, to let the storm pass and not hold onto the past year.

free hugs

a simple gesture says it all.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hN8CKwdosjE

one word

the other evening i was getting coffee with a couple of teenage girls and we were talking about our faith and prayer life. and i posed the question, "what's one word to describe your prayer life?" they responded with the word 'lame' and my word isn't much better as i feel as though i'm 'sporadic'. this is a question i had personally been wrestling with myself. and the word i associate with my prayer life is not the word i would like.

faithful, faithful is the word i would like to use to describe my prayer life...romans 12:12. but i have work to do in order to get to that, and it is something i'm willing to work on.

so, what's one word you would use to describe your prayer life?

if there is a God...

lately, i have found myself saying, "if there is a God,....then this will happen."

or, "if there is a God,....blah, blah, blah"

"if there is a God,....."

"if there is a God,....."

"if there is a God,....."

i know there is a God, so why is this phrase part of my vocabulary? i don't need to challenge God.

He's there, and whether or not He honors my request to prove that there "is a God" really doesn't matter.

what matters is that He's there...always there for me

i need to remember that

God in spin class?

yesterday, as i was in spin class (waiting for it to begin), i was hit with a thought and began to wonder about the salvation of those who were also in the room taking the class with me. this was a new experience for me, and yet i'm glad that i was open to it then and there. and one would think that with it being spin class, maybe God wouldn't use them at that time/place...you know, so you could stay in the zone and get a good workout in. because isn't good health/fitness important?!? anyway, i was able to stay in the zone and get my workout in, but the thought still was on my heart and in my mind.

so what do you do with that?

and the easy, logical answer would be to pray about it and the let the Spirit lead.

and yes, i plan to do that. but i also will ponder why the Spirit came upon me then and there, and what's the greater purpose for this all?

i know i need to keep my eyes, ears, and even heart open to hear the call of God and see how He will use me in this case, to possibly further His kingdom. it sounds like an exciting adventure.

and it definitely affirms the fact that the Lord works in mysterious ways...