content?

i was getting ready to spend some time in the Word this morning and randomly flipping through my bible to see if anything would call out to me to read or focus on. i was hoping God would send me a message to read a certain passage in the bible, and in a way i guess He did.

i end up flipping through the new testament and stumble across philippians 4:11b. i'm using the word stumble because that's exactly what it felt like. God putting something in my way to draw my eyes to it, as if He wanted me to trip over it. the verse reads, "...for i have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." and i must admit that after i read it, i rolled my eyes. yes, i rolled my eyes at a passage in the bible.

you see, the battle of contentment is difficult for me. i realize i should be content in all i have friends/family, health, a job, well-being, etc, etc. but when it comes down to it, i'm not content. there are other 'things' my heart longs for, other 'things' i want. and even before i was spending time in the Word, i was praying. i began by thanking God for certain things, but then transitioned into my desires/wants of my heart.

why?

because i am lacking contentment in my circumstances