silence

some people think that silence is golden. others cherish it and want more of it. some even find it scary.

the other night i tried something new, i drove home in silence. and it was difficult, scary, and unsettling.

at first, i tried to fill the silence with dialog in my head; running thru prior conversations from the day. i realized what i was doing and then tried to shut it off. i was doing anything and everything to fill the silence. i reminded myself that this was supposed to be a silent activity, one that wasn't to be filled with noise or outside distractions.

once i began to allow myself to go there, i could feel God's presence. i could feel God there with me in my car; yet can't put it into words how i knew He was there. when i sensed His presence; it reached my soul. and then it scared me because it was just too quiet. i knew God was there, ready to talk to me and

i

wouldn't

allow

it

to

happen.

quickly, i began to fill that silence with any distraction. i was blocking out God.

now reflecting back, i feel like i lost something from that night. i lost time that can't be gotten back, but more importantly, i lost out on what God wanted to tell me.

so, now it's time to try again.

to silence my heart,

to silence my mind,

and listen (not just hear) what God wants to tell me.